Think about it...

"Now go, sleep on it, think about it" she said, as I hurriedly stuff everything in my rolling bag. Even student teachers get to be on the behavior chart too, I thought. It's been six weeks of being with little seven-year-olds and it is still an uphill battle.
I imagined myself as a ypimg padwan learner, under the tuteledge of an experienced Jedi master. Last phase and the begining of a new hope.
One thing I didn't take into consideration when I choose teaching as profession is how much my own flaws get magnified to myself and *gasp* whoever else that I encounter. I've learned early on that just as dogs, children can smell fear and ill-preparedness. Yet unlike dogs, children are merciless. Now I've realized their power to stir my emotions by just looking at me.

Think about it, she said. The words still rings in my head. Maybe it wasn't really a rebuke but more a gentle reminder from a caring master to stand still and let the Force permeate my skin and tell me what to do.

And what did I wish for? Love of course!

Hello and Happy New Year!
I thought it would be fun write something on the first day of the new year. This is a time of hope and new beginnings. Time to be cheerful and optimistic about what the future may hold. Last night I was in San Francisco with my family (parents, brother, grandma, aunts, uncle and cousins) and this is by far the best New Year celebration we had in the past 10 years. Less food, less gifts and I didn't have to break open a young coconut!
It just goes to show that a celebration doesn't always depend on the abundance of food and gifts; what matters most is spending it with loved ones whom you know will put up with you no matter how crazy you are sometimes.
Here's wishing everyone a good year. I'm not going write about my resolutions and reflections on the past year. I think this time, I will just keep in my heart this song:-)



This will be my year - Semisonic

Thursday's crush is a Friday night rush
And a Monday morning cry
It's the tail that you keep chasing
And it gets away every time

New Years Eve and it's hard to believe
Another Zodiac's gone around
While you drank yourself high on hoping
And watched the ceiling spin from the ground

Counting down from ten it's time
To make your annual prayer
Secret Santa in the sky
When will I get my share

Then you tell yourself
What you want to hear
Cause you have to believe
This will be my year

Pound your fist and cross it off your list
But you know you're not that strong
When the man at the stop light catches you
Singing along to a brand new song

Well maybe it's
Trash or the overnight smash that brings a
Ship crashing through your wall
So you can make your grand departure
From a world getting way too small

One wheel in the ditch another
Spinning in the air
Put your pedal down to the floorboards but you're not
Getting anywhere

Then you tell yourself
What you want to hear
Cause you have to believe
This will be my year

Additional Holiday Plans

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Forget about him.

Will you walk beside me?

She’s been my friend for most of my life; we met when we were both 12 navigating our way through puberty and adolescence. I met her in class; her cheerful and friendly nature seduced me to want to be with her.
I must have written two or three essays about her. All praising her for saving me from the abyss and being that one person I can turn to for comfort and understanding. She is the one person who understands how hard it is for me to exist even though I hide behind a façade of strength.
The past few months though, I admit I’ve been impatient and because I wanted more. I wanted to live out of my head for once and free myself from the seclusion. In my muddled way of thinking, I contemplated on leaving her.
The lines from a declamatory piece resonated in my head. Time interwove us like two fibers; if one must die then the other would disintegrate to nothingness. I depended on her for my own survival.
Yet I also feel that we are a crossroad. We must chose a path and the way I see it, either part ways or bring each other out of a miserable experience bound tightly by the circumstances of our birth. The third option is to spiral uncontrollably to our destruction.
If I were to choose I’ll take the option of getting out of this rut together. It’s a terrifying ride but it could be comforting to have someone beside you.