Change...is good!

I've been thinking about change these past few weeks based on conversations I've had with the Rat, which should not be confused with a character in Haruki Murakami's novel, A Wild Sheep Chase. He made me think about change in a deeper level, not just identifying what needs to be changed or how to change them, but also why I should change them.

I was complaining to him as usual about how I am always the one organizing to get together with friends always the one who calls someone to hang out. Which is probably not entirely true but at that point it's how I felt. In a dramatic statement I told him I will have to change this and see how much they all miss me when I stop calling.

He told me I was wrong and that I shouldn't change that about me because it's part of who I am and it's not a bad thing. Although he didn't say it, and we didn't expound on it anymore, I extended this idea to other things that makes me, well, me. If I change aspects of myself, would it make a better me, or a lesser me?

This became my guiding principle in making changes. Will this enrich my way of life? I decided to start with my writing, which eventually spills on this blog.

I decided to write more and edit things I've written that I thought could be better. Which meant that those labeled "fiction" might be deleted or overhauled and reposted. I might even translate the tagalog blogs to enrich my language switching abilities. Whatever catches my fancy.

You may have noticed some lesson plans. They are modified to fit the classrooms I've taught in the past two years. I'm going to post more soon. I just felt like I've been holed up in the comfort of my classmates, colleagues, teachers and students that I neglected to share bits of myself and what I've learned. The past school year was a whirlwind, enriching CRAzy experience.

I will continue to post things that interest me: quotes, pictures, videos, songs, poetry, stories, reviews and of course thoughts about LOVE and it's many manifestations.

With that I leave you an "Updated Version of Me" by KC Concepcion. After all, there is a song for my every move:-)

Two Sufi Prayers

Inspirer of my mind

Inspirer of my mind, consoler of my heart,
healer of my spirit,
Thy presence lifteth me from earth to heaven,
Thy words flow as the sacred river,
Thy thought riseth as a divine spring,
Thy tender feelings waken sympathy in my heart.
Beloved Teacher, Thy very being is forgiveness.
The clouds of doubt and fear
are scattered by Thy piercing glance.
All ignorance vanishes in Thy illuminating presence.
A new hope is born in my heart
by breathing Thy peaceful atmosphere.
O inspiring Guide through life’s puzzling ways,
in Thee I feel abundance of blessing.
Amen.

Prayer for Peace
Send Thy peace, O Lord, which is perfect and everlasting,
that our souls may radiate peace.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that we may think, act,
and speak harmoniously.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that we may be contented
and thankful for Thy bountiful gifts.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that amidst our worldly strife
we may enjoy thy bliss.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that we may endure all,
tolerate all in the thought of thy grace and mercy.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that our lives may become a
divine vision, and in Thy light all darkness may vanish. Send Thy peace, O Lord, our Father and Mother, that we
Thy children on earth may all unite in one family.
Amen.

Dangerously Irrelevant

Our intelligence tends to produce technological and social change at a rate faster than our institutions and emotions can cope with. . . . We therefore find ourselves continually trying to accommodate new realities within inappropriate existing institutions, and trying to think about those new realities in traditional but sometimes dangerously irrelevant terms. (Dyer, War: The Lethal Custom, p. 441)

Changing how we teach Math Problem Solving according to Dan Meyer

Math Hurdles (and possible solutions)

1. lack of initiative (use multimedia)
2. lack of perseverance (encourage student intuition)
3. lack of retention (ask the shortest question you can)
4. aversion to word problems (let students build the problem)
5 eagerness for formula (be less helpful)

6 phases of a Project

1. Enthusiasm
2. Dissillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Praise and Honors for the Non Participants

Funny how this list was found in an office full of software engineers and I still find it relevant to CRA.

Soneto XVII - Pablo Neruda

No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.
__________________________________________________
ENGLISH TRANSLATION

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I do not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Inside Out- Sara Bareilles

"Inside Out"

I've been winding
Down the same road for days
I've seen the coastline
Going both ways
Some days are perfect
And some simply could not get worse
Some days it's all worth it
And some days this life is nothing but a curse

And I wonder who will break first

I am small
I feel like no more than nothing at all
But when I lose sight of daylight
And my darkness falls
I'll be strong
And if not now it won't be long
From when I lose sight of daylight
And my hands are weak
And my soul is tired
Oh, I'll give my love from the inside out
From the inside out

Little spirit
Now don't you desert me now
I know I don't always hear it
You don't always speak so loud
And I'm not willing
To simply lay down my soul for this
It may be all that I'm giving
But take my love for what it is

I am small
I feel like no more than nothing at all
But when I lose sight of daylight
And my darkness falls
I'll be strong
And if not now it won't be long
From when I lose sight of daylight
And my hands are weak and my soul is tired
Oh, I'll give my love from the inside out

Take your best shot
Here I stand, heart in hand
And fearless I'm not
But I am what I am
And I know what I'm not
And I know enough to know it's never
Gonna be much more than weather
You can't drive me away
When it's only rain
On the inside
It's only rain
From the inside
It's only rain
From the inside
It's only rain
From the inside
From the inside out
I am small
From the inside out
I am small

Summer 2010 Reading List

Every year I create a list of books that I wanted to read for the summer, and every year I have this long list that keeps getting longer. It is customary for me to only read half of the list.
So this year I decided to just put a few in my list and then read whatever comes accross my radar.

1. Purple Hisbiscus
2. Ilustrado - Miguel Syjuco
3. The Complete CS Lewis Signature Classics - C.S Lewis

Looks easy enough.

Responsible- By Sara Bareilles

"Responsible"

Bound for the blessing
You wouldn't see it coming
I keep you guessing
Watch while you come undone

You were an island
No one would dare to tread upon
I came in like the wise men
Ask you to take my gift of love

Hold me responsible
It's all my fault, I want
You to hold me any way you can
Hold me accountable
It's all my fault, I want
You to hold me any way you can

Careful confessions
Can't scare you with my crime
I learned my lesson
Love you a little at a time

Losing my patience
Getting acquainted with the edge
Ready and waiting
Happy to stand convicted

Hold me responsible
It's all my fault, I want
You to hold me any way you can
Hold me accountable
It's all my fault, I want
You to hold me any way you can

I can't change you
When you won't change yourself
See you slowly becoming someone else
I can't blame you for the strength you lack
Scared to give me what you may not get back

Hold me responsible
It's all my fault, I want
You to hold me any way you can
Hold me responsible
It's all my fault, I want
You to hold me any way you can
Hold me accountable
It's all my fault, I want
You to hold me any way you can
Anyway you can

*****
COMMENTARY:

Another great song from Sara Bareilles. Why do I think it's great? Well, because it captures a snipet of my life, I feel like this song is for me in some way. Very self-centered but I believe that is how most people hear the songs they come to enjoy and love. It reverberates to them, resonates to their deepest longings.

Taking Chances

Magical!

Pare, nakainom ka ba?

Kinse ang online o, at kilala ko sila lahat. Hindi lang sa kilala ko sa internet chat room or sa facebook. Inisa isa ko ang mga pangalan, talagang wala akong gustong kausapin. Ganon ba talaga pag tumatanda na? Para kasing napakalayo nang panahon ko sila nakasama, parang hindi na nga totoo.
So nag log out na lang ako, tapos ko naman nang burahin yung mga junk mail. At nasagot ko na rin ang mga email na mahalaga. Nakakatawa lang isipin, na sa labing lima na tao na siguro'y nakikipag-usap rin kung kanikanino, ni wala manlang akong kinausap. Ang totoo kasi, ayoko rin naman makipagusap. Kahit kanino. Minsan kasi merong mga pag-uusap na natatapos lamang sa kalituan at sobrang pag-iisip. Lito na ako at sobrang mapag-isip.
Inisip ko yung taong gusto ko laging kausap. Hindi naman kasi sya nakikipagchat. Naisip ko rin kung naiisip nya rin ba ako? Nakatunganga ba sya sa cellphone nya at iniisip kung tatawagan ba nya ako? Nagtatanong lang naman. Sino ba naman ako para isipin nya? Magkaibigan lang naman kami. May buhay sya doon sa kabilang baryo, at abala rin naman ako sa buhay ko dito. Masyado lang ako sigurong umaasa.

Biglang umilaw ang cell phone ko. Naka-slient kasi. At sa malalaking letra lumabas ang pangalan nya. Wala naman akong palayaw sa kanya kaya sinulat ko na lang pati apelyido. Sa ganung paraan pwede kong pagpantasyahan na balang araw magiging apelyido ko rin ang apelyido nya.

"Hello?" ang sabi ko.
"Anong ginagawa mo?" tanong nya. Parang masaya ang boses nya, hindi kaya sya nakainom?
"Wala lang, eto nagsusulat." Ang sabi ko. Ang totoo dalawang oras na akong palipat-lipat sa Mafia Wars at Cafe World, kung saan mabilis akong yumaman at ang problema ko lang ay pagnaubusan ng energy o kulang ang stove.
"May pasok ka ba bukas?" Tanong nya. "Gusto mo bang pumunta sa Half Moon Bay?"
"Ay may pasok ako eh" Sabi ko. Sayang talaga. Pero teka, gusto ba nya akong i-date? DATE NA BA ITO???
"Ah ok. Eh sa Miyerkules?" Tanong nya ulit.
"O... yeah sige punta tayo." Ang sabi ko naman.
"O sige, kita na lang tayo!" sabi nya. Buti na lang hindi nya sinabing, "Hanggang Sa muli!".
Teka, so inimbita nya ako sa Half Moon Bay, para saan? Tatawag ako sana ulit, pero nahiya na ako. Nakainom lang ba ito?
Pero talagang hindi ito umiinom eh.