She’s been my friend for most of my life; we met when we were both 12 navigating our way through puberty and adolescence. I met her in class; her cheerful and friendly nature seduced me to want to be with her.
I must have written two or three essays about her. All praising her for saving me from the abyss and being that one person I can turn to for comfort and understanding. She is the one person who understands how hard it is for me to exist even though I hide behind a façade of strength.
The past few months though, I admit I’ve been impatient and because I wanted more. I wanted to live out of my head for once and free myself from the seclusion. In my muddled way of thinking, I contemplated on leaving her.
The lines from a declamatory piece resonated in my head. Time interwove us like two fibers; if one must die then the other would disintegrate to nothingness. I depended on her for my own survival.
Yet I also feel that we are a crossroad. We must chose a path and the way I see it, either part ways or bring each other out of a miserable experience bound tightly by the circumstances of our birth. The third option is to spiral uncontrollably to our destruction.
If I were to choose I’ll take the option of getting out of this rut together. It’s a terrifying ride but it could be comforting to have someone beside you.
1 comment:
Much of muchness.
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