at the party

I can't believe her nerve to come up to me like that. This is my event, mine!
OK. This is actually my brother's engagement party, but I organized it!
I really can't blame her, she was invited too. That was back when we were still a "couple". She is free to come as she pleases after all.
There are just moments that I want to lash out at her.
I went to the bathroom and looked at my face. Did she notice I lost weight? I wondered. I felt the urge to splash water over my face but quickly noticed there weren't enough paper towels. Some hotel this is.
I walk back to the party, smiled at people I recognized but forgot their first names. Belonging in a large community of expatriate Filipinos meant I can disguise my not knowing their names by calling elder people "auntie" and "uncle" and giving a quick peck and hug. This was a mixed party though, with more white people than usual. Of course Danica and James would invite people as many white people as possible. Typical of them to wash their hands off the "fresh off the boat" smell. I don't know what my brother saw in that pretentious woman.
I checked with the waiters to see if they sent out the rest of the hor d' ovres. She said, not yet. I made a mental note of it. I checked the program to see what is next. Tina Cruz and Jun Santos are singing after the toast. I scanned the room for them.
Why do I always have to see her? Why is she always in the middle of the room?
There she is smiling with a group of our friends, laughing at something Sherryl said, while she tuck her hair behind her ear. She glanced at me and I quickly looked away.
Toast!
Someone said.
I quickly came back to reality and signaled the bestman and maid-of-honor. This just an engagement party, the wedding is next week but these people didn't even wait till then to be totally useless.
Why am I in such a bad mood?

the aftermath

I can't say I didn't like it, of course I did. Seeing her once again agitated those proverbial butterflies in my stomach. I admit I enjoy the attention.
How are you, she says.
I'm fine.
I tried to look casual and unaffected. I'm glad I am wearing something decent. She looked amazing. I mean, she was wearing that red dress and it took all my will power not to touch her. I haven't seen you in a while, she says. After.. you know... She trailed off her speech, I'm almost certain she did that on purpose, as a trap.
Yeah, I've been busy, I said as I run my fingers through my hair, as I always do when I'm uneasy, and of course she knows that. What does want me to say? Sorry? For loving her for fifteen years?
Well it was nice seeing you again, she said.
I said nothing.
I looked down at the cocktail I've holding. I never liked to drink alcohol anyway, but I figured I might as well get numbed right now.

Additional Holiday Plans

Read articles, watch every video, post on interesting forums in Edutopia everyday.
Start writing my PACT, by copying the example paper on the reader.
Read all the twitter link post by Dr. Mcleod and the Teachertoolbox.

Forget about him.

Haruki Murakami's speech in Israel

Winter Reading List

The Museum of innocence - Orhan Pamuk
October -Jan issues of Harpers'Magazine
Numbers*
Purple Hibiscus - Chimamada Ngozi Adichie
Dune - Frank Herbert

The Big Empty

Ein, zwei, drei, vier!

Easy as 1, 2, 3, 4!

Isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat!

Naruyagon ako kan Feist :-)